SS: Amazed

Today is the first day of my Superwoman Syndrome series this week.  In case you don’t know, Superwoman Syndrome is a condition experienced by women who feel they have to work hard at multiple roles in their lives from wife, mother, worker, student, etc.

I definitely feel like I suffer from Superwoman Syndrome and I know all my feelings of having to be everything to everyone is self inflicted but nonetheless it’s something I feel compelled to do and if I don’t- I feel guilty.  I don’t know WHERE that comes from because my mom, God rest her soul, sure as hell didn’t raise me to be a self sacrificing martyr but sometimes that’s just what I feel like. And sometimes I feel like I’m not doing nearly enough.  I’ve said this before I am my own worst critic and it’s really asinine.

Today I want to focus on being amazed by who I am and everything I’ve accomplished.  Here is my quote for today:

“My biggest problem is focusing too much on what I didn’t do instead of being amazed by what I’ve accomplished.”

Here are some of the things that I have accomplished that amazes me:

  • I managed to finish a college degree while working full time, with two children.
  • I am the only person on my maternal grandmother’s side of the family in three generations to get a college degree
  • I have a solid, loving marriage (10 years strong in November) and I was raised by a single mother and didn’t have a relationship with my father.
  • I have been to London, Paris, Rome,  & Tokyo.  I have also been to the Bahamas, Jamaica & Cancun.  I’ve been to Hawaii FOUR times and New York, California, Florida and several other states & at least 50 or more cities.
  • I gave birth to two healthy, beautiful children after I got married at age 32.
  • I am 42 and only ever hospitalized to have my children. This is amazing considering high blood pressure and other ailments run in my family.
  • I illustrated a children’s book.
  • I published two books of personal quotes for my children.
  • Other than our mortgage, I AM DEBT FREE!

I have spent so many, many years of my life comparing myself (both consciously and subconsciously) to other people.  I’ve always felt like I was just as smart or smarter than my peers and that I was a failure all those years I didn’t have my bachelor’s degree (I had an associates degree). That was one of the worst things that I condemned myself over and felt shame about for some reason.  But what was the first thing I did after I got my degree?  I quit my job. LOL!  Yeah, I’m all kinds of awesome.

I’m focused on running my own race these days but I admit some habits are hard to break.  As I’m entering the arena of web/graphic design, I sometimes find myself berating my skills in comparison to the very people who I’m looking to inspire me.  And that’s just plain ole nuts.  Lately the thing that brings me the most joy is learning new design tricks and finding new resources.  I want to get better and better and even if it’s to just design the most kickass Christmas card the world has ever seen! LMAO! Obviously, I jest, I want to share my work and get clients but I’m done looking for validation!

My affirmation for today:  I am amazing.  I have accomplished some amazing things in my life and it’s not over.  I will cut myself some slack and continue to enjoy my unique life journey.

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